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Can you have a wedding without a planner? Sure. Will it make your life a lot harder? Probably. With all of the superfluous expenses that modern-day weddings throw our way (hello wedding welcome bags, wedding favors, and personalized EVERYTHING), we don’t blame you for asking the question. But if there is one thing we’ve learned about South Asian weddings after having planned our own, spoken with industry experts and other brides, it’s that you DON’T want to go through your wedding day without an experienced planner or coordinator by your side.

Things To Be Aware Of

Before we dive into the meat of why you need one, here are some things you need to be aware of:

• All planners are not made equal. If someone is offering planning services for rates that are MUCH lower than the standard for your wedding size and budget, proceed with caution. Industry experts across the board recommend that you instead select the cheapest planning option from a more reputable planner rather than hiring the cheapest planner who promises the world. Don’t let low numbers and price undercutting fool you into hiring a dud.
• A planner should JUST plan. As you’ll learn from our reasons for hiring a planner below, planning and coordinating a wedding is a MASSIVE undertaking without adding any additional responsibilities to that. If someone promotes themselves as a planner PLUS something else and it’s a one-person show? You should be concerned. In those instances, if billed as a planner + a decorator, décor will ALWAYS take priority (because it’s what your guests *see*), leaving the day-of coordination of your event to suffer. If you go this route, make sure that the company you hire has a dedicated person and team for each service offering.
• At the very least, get a day-of coordinator. Having a planner doesn’t always have to equal beaucoup bucks. In fact, you’ll be hard pressed to find a venue these days that doesn’t have an event management team on staff. If your venue comes equipped with a coordinator, scope out the reviews to see what past brides have to say about their experience. I can attest for this personally, I chose my wedding venue solely based off of the reviews of the event coordinator. And he MADE my wedding!
• A good planner can work wonders within reason. Okay guys, I’m Desi so I know this part of us would make its way out eventually – basically, don’t expect the skillset of a Sundar Pichai when you barely have the budget for a Google Home. Be realistic and reasonable when it comes to scouting for a planner and how that compares to your budget.
• Your planner doesn’t NEED to be South Asian. But if your family is *extra* difficult, we recommend going with one who knows how to speak their language (not literally, we mean sweet talk) while prioritizing all your wants and needs. And while you don’t have to have a South Asian planner for your wedding, they should be experienced in planning South Asian events.

4 Reasons You Need A Planner

SO Many Moving Parts

Let’s call South Asian weddings what they are, shall we? Huge, giant productions. For any given South Asian wedding celebration you’ve got at least 2-3 events taking place at a dedicated venue where you’ve got a dozen other vendors you’ve hired, like a decorator, DJ company, caterer, hair and makeup team, photographer, videographer…and the list goes on and on.

A planner’s job is to manage ALL of that madness so you don’t have to. Issues with the layout of the event space? Planner. Vendor running behind schedule? Planner. Emergency with your outfit? That’s right, your planner is going to be the one to step up and douse fires so you don’t have to. There are a lot of logistical elements to making a wedding work and, hate to break it to ya, there’s also a good chance that one or two things *will* go wrong on your wedding weekend. A professional, experienced planner will anticipate issues, be proactive, and squash ‘em quickly.

Recommended interview question:

When vetting potential planners, ask them (in person) to provide you with an example of a time where a problem occurred during the weekend of a wedding and what that person did to resolve it. If they respond by saying they’ve never experienced any issues? Red flag!

Your Planner Is Your Advocate

If you’re one of the lucky ones whose family and partner’s family are the free-spirited, do whatever makes you happy-type, consider yourself BLESSED. For the rest of us whose families seem to have no shortage of diabolical plans that prematurely age us by decades, a planner is going to be your savior. We’ve experienced and heard of so many wedding horror stories where family drama takes center stage. Family members will go to venue staff and demand certain things. Or try to move your décor around. Or try to sit at a table that is reserved for others.

A good planner is going to nip that s*** in the bud. Not by being rude, but by being professional and experienced in outsmarting devious and troublemaking relatives.

Recommended interview question:

Similar to the question above, ask them to provide you an example of a time when family drama impacted the wedding weekend and what that person did to resolve it. Don’t expect juicy gossip or a detailed story here (professionalism, y’all!). Listen instead for the way the interviewee frames their response. Remember, you need an advocate for YOURSELF – not someone who is going to side with your parents or in-laws behind your back.

Your Planner Is Your Walt Disney

Some of us spend wayyy too much time on Pinterest and IG and have clear ideas in our heads of what we want things to look and feel like. The rest of us are thrown into this process and haven’t the slightest clue on where to begin. Enter planner! If you need help with conceptual design, figuring out what the heck it is that you like and how you can make it a reality within your budget, your planner will help you figure it all out. But don’t confuse decorating with planning. Although there are planners out there who include conceptual design as part of their services, this isn’t a standard and doesn’t apply to all.

Recommended interview question:

Be prepared for your meeting with some sample images of weddings (apparel, décor, food, photography style, videography style, etc.) and provide your interviewee with a rough budget. Ask them what recommendations they would make to a client based off of the reality of your numbers that still allows for your dream wedding. Listen to their suggestions – are they practical (use seasonal and local flowers instead of flying in exotic blooms), or smooth-talking nonsense?

People Let Me Tell You ‘Bout My Best Friend

We saved our most compelling reason for last – in addition to being your production manager, your advocate, and your very own Walt Disney, your planner should also be a friend. Consider some of the essential traits of friendships: being trustworthy, honest, dependable, loyal, empathetic, non-judgmental, a good listener, humorous, fun, etc. The great planners, the ones you want to work with, are absolutely going to possess these traits and then some. And when inevitable stress and drama hits leading up to your wedding or even on the weekend of, you’re going to be so thankful to have a friend by your side who will come to bat for you when you need it the most.

Recommended interview question:

There aren’t any questions you can ask to test this (or at least any that we can provide you with) – this is going to be about your gut feeling and intuition. Don’t settle for a rude planner when there are so many kind, professional, and down-to-earth ones that will have your back and be respectful throughout the process. If you’re getting bad vibes from an initial meeting and this person is not respectful, professional, or someone who you connect with on a personal level, then there’s a good chance that this isn’t the best fit for you or for them.

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Tips or comments about this article? Have a topic you want us to research and write about? Drop us an email at [email protected]

 Raj Desai

Founder & Chief Visionary, proud fur mom of 2, amateur artist, Netflix binger, wino, and chocolate addict.