by Raj Desai | Updated 7/31/21
When I brought up the idea of a big public kiss at the end of our wedding ceremony to my then-fiancé, he recoiled at the thought.
Yes, the man who was born and raised in the US (with a southern accent to boot) who chose a Tupac song for his mother-son dance, felt like kissing at our wedding was taking it a step too far (to be fair, he’s not into PDA).
Fast forward 2 years to his cousin’s wedding. The bride and groom did a beautifully choreographed slow dance. When the groom dipped her at the very end, he went in for a kiss.
While I watched adoringly with a sappy grin on my face, my husband let out a loud, “Ooooo!” You know the one, the sound a little kid makes when they act as the toddler equivalent to the witness of a crime.
Sure, I get it, maybe the idea of kissing in front of your elderly grandparents and relatives makes you cringe. But if it’s meaningful and important to you or to your partner, do it anyways.
I’m from the camp where I like to say, the HELL with what our conservative relatives think – you do you. And even though there isn’t a natural part of traditional Indian ceremonies where couples are encouraged to kiss, you can always create one.
If you’re having a Sikh ceremony, maybe it’s after you walk back down the aisle with your now-spouse, and you share a sweet smooch while your guests shower you with flower petals.
If you’re having a Hindu ceremony, perhaps you kiss right before you step down from the mandap.
Or, if you really want to have that moment but you’re not fond of having an audience, it’s the minute you and your new spouse are alone for the first time once the ceremony ends.
The upside of there not being a guidebook on how to share your first kiss at an Indian wedding is that you and your partner can decide how to pull it off in a way that you both are comfortable with.
Eff the naysayers and the asexual Indian relatives (I mean, where do they think those babies they’re pressuring you to have come from anyways?!) and seal your wedding with a kiss.
Wedding writer and researcher who’s been in the game for 5 years. Addicted to Netflix, dirty martinis, and naps.