Dear Corona Bride, first, I want to say sorry that you’re in this position. You’re not alone, I’m in it with you too. Some blog posts are helpful, some are not. But I think it helps knowing that the person writing on the other side is also feeling the same emotions as you. Here is my advice, as an Indian bride with a 5-day traditional Indian wedding celebration planned, who will 99.9% have to reschedule. I leave that last 0.01% for hope – everyone’s gotta have a little bit of hope.
Cry it out. Wine it out (Yes I mean wine not whine).
Scream into your pillow if you’d like, but just let it all out. A month ago, when I realized that I probably wasn’t going to have the wedding I had spent over a year planning, I was super upset. What upset me more was the uncertainty of not knowing when I’d have it or IF I’d even have it at all. I had spent a whole month shopping in India and left my relatives saying, “see you at the wedding!” Everyone was soooo excited. But that quickly turned into people saying, “Just get court married and call it a day!” Call it a day?! I spent a week “letting it out.” But trust me when I say this, I felt MUCH better. Taking that time to myself, finding what was important to me about the ceremony, and recollecting my thoughts in between really helped.
Come to peace with the fact that no one will truly understand you, except for maybe another bride.
We know that we’re in the middle of a pandemic where people are losing loved ones everyday – our problems are minute compared to what’s going in the world. I’ve felt guilty for even thinking about wanting my dream wedding while we’re in a pandemic and maybe you have too. But relieve yourself of that guilt and give yourself time to process your feelings, because in fact, it’s normal. I would like to think that there are two types of brides – a bride that just wants to get married to the love of her life anyway/anyhow and the bride that wants the whole 5-day sha-bang with elephants, out-of-this-world lehengas and a catwalk runway to the mandap.
I am the latter (minus the elephants). So, this has been hard – but remind yourself this, “your day will come and trust that it will be the most amazing thing. When we can all come together and celebrate, there will be nothing else like it.” One thing that has helped me get through this is by talking to my friends that are also going through similar situations, we try to make light of topics that would normally cause emotional distress.
Make a Pros vs. Cons sheet.
Indian weddings are often grand and 5 days long, which means that you most likely have multiple venues that you have to get into contact with. I made a pros vs cons sheet of 3 different paths I could take: keeping my summer wedding date as is, postponing to late fall, or postponing to next year. For all 3 categories, I spoke to my fiancé and wrote down valid points. Having a visual, organized diagram made it a little easier to make our decision.
Have a plan B and start working on that plan early with your vendors.
Don’t be afraid to speak with your vendors, they’re here to help. Surprisingly, it was my photographer that was actually able to calm me down and help me think of a plan – thank you Regal Palette Studio! I have read several blog posts on what to do if you’re a corona bride, but I think the most helpful ones would have to be this one and this one by Brides.com. Worth a read!
If postponing to later this year, I also think it’s important to sit down with your family members and talk about the ceremonies that are important to you. On one hand, an intimate outdoor ceremony might be feasible in the fall, but maybe the 400 person reception indoors might not be. Think about what’s important to you and highlight that in your backup plan.
As a nurse, I think that my one advice would be to remember that above all else, you should keep yourself and your guests safe. News on the Coronavirus pandemic changes every day. It’s important to stay up to date so you can make informed decisions rather than hasty ones. The one misunderstanding about the virus is how it travels and how people should protect themselves. Even if you opt to have a smaller ceremony at home, have measures in place to protect your loved ones.
Dhara Patel is a nurse, fashion & lifestyle blogger, and bride-to-be from New Jersey.
Visit her site, All the Pearls and Curls, to get inspired with recipes, beauty tips, and more.